Avengers Book Tag

The Endgame approaches. I hope you're ready.

So I noticed one of my favorite bookstagram accounts coffeeforpages did this Avengers book tag, 

and it looked like so much fun, I stole it.

[her post]

[i'm not back]

Iron Man | book that made you laugh

I feel slightly bad that most of these are middle grade books. Does that say something about my sense of humor? Nah.

So sorry, Tony, but your a middle grade read [the side effects of adopting a Spider-Man].

Howl's Moving Castle gives me so much joy. It's like when you're ten years old, the weather is your favorite, someone randomly gives you your favorite candy, AND you get to run outside and get dirty to your heart's content all on the same day. Simple joy, guys. The best.

Percy Jackson never fails to make me laugh. I could just open any of the books to a random page and within two minutes people will serve me glares and nervous glances because I'm laughing at a social unacceptable volume.

Word by Word is not a middle grade book, but--

It's a nonfiction book about dictionaries, grammar, and anything related to the English language [ok, it's about lexicography]. Aka: much nerd. And it's soooo hilarious. I'm always smirking or chuckling to myself. But when I try to explain the nerd jokes to my mom, she's just kinda like " . . .ok."

Thor | character with strength you admire

Any time I do one of these tags, my brain goes "book, wat book? U red book? Huh." My mind completely blanks, and I have zero memory of what I've read. Ever. So I'm going to go with a movie instead, and I'll be mind-numbingly obvious about it.

Thor. Ok? I like Thor. [Mind you, I like Loki better, but Thor has his merits.] He has one of the greatest character arcs in MCU [right under Tony Stark and Doctor Stephen Strange if you're asking me]. And I'm not talking about his physical strength, so listen.

Everyone regards Thor as ditzy or uncaring because he walks around smiling all the time when his friends hunt his brother down or because he'll team up with someone who had once betrayed him or overstepped boundaries. I could go on for ages pulling examples out of my metaphoric beanie. But I don't think this has anything to do with Thor being stupid. Thor's real strength lies in his character. 

Thor knows how to prioritize properly. Worrying about his situation isn't going to improve it. It'll likely make it worse because he's not focused on the goal. He doesn't let his circumstances keep him from moving forward and taking care of what needs to come first. Infinity War for instance? His family, his kingdom, and all his people, whose lives he was responsible for, and his brother was wiped away in front of him. He had nothing in Infinity War, but did we see him whining on and on about it? Um, no. Some of the other characters cling to their personal squabbles or brood over their awful past or present while the world is literally ending, but Thor doesn't take much part in this. It's not that Thor doesn't care about what happened to those he cares about. It's that not dying and saving the world is a little more important than feeling the feels at the moment. If they succeed, there'll be time for that later. 

He also doesn't let others' actions hold progress back either. He's willing to forgive people, even when he knows they'll likely double cross him [*cough* Loki *cough*]. He wants to let them change and become better. He knowingly opens himself up to a ton of hurt so that he can give people room to grow and cheer them on as they do so [you know, if they do so]. But to him, it's about priorities again. It's more important for that person to be given a chance to become a better version of themselves than for him to be bitter and angry.

[End rant]

Captain America | book set in another era

Who doesn't love the Victorian England setting of Sherlock Holmes? And nowadays, Sherlock Holmes retellings take place in all sorts of settings. [Do you have any fav SH retellings recs?]

Since resurrecting the dead is totally a fabulous idea, I can't leave out Frankenstein in all its literary Romanticism, particularly since Captain America is this category's patron avenger.

Hulk | book that made you angry

I'm about half way finished with Game of Thrones [the book, not the series A Song of Ice and Fire], man, some of the characters . . .

Stark makes me angry almost 505% of the time. I liked him when I first met him, but now all he does is make the worst possible decisions. After I finish the book, I'll rant more, but for now, I'll add that Catlyn annoys me nearly just as much. Why, you might ask? 

Exhibit A:

Catelyn: *is hysterically distraught over one child's unconscious state and refuses to acknowledge her four other children exist and need her*

Catelyn five minutes later: *uncovers a possible conspiracy* "Somebody needs to tell people about this. But it has to be someone smart who'll be believed . . . Oh, wait. That's me."

me: Yes. Everyone's going to readily believe the lady who was last seen barely cognitive. Great plan, Cat. I wouldn't put you in charge of a potato chip.

Need we move to an Exhibit B? I think no.

Lysa, wow. It seems near madness is a Tully trait.

I'll stop there before I destroy a small city.

Hawkeye | underrated book

A Wizard of Earthsea, or rather the whole Earthsea Trilogy, is one of my favorite fantasy books. I'm not sure if they're really underrated? But I never hear anyone talking about them. They deserve more love.

Also, The Princess Bride.

[sorry not sorry]

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch | sibling love

If you want to go Medieval, I'll throw in Njal's Saga because it's blood-for-blood in old Iceland. If you don't avenge your brother, shame on you. 

If you avenge your brother, you or your other brother is at the top of your arch enemy's hit list. 

It's been nice knowing you.

Antman | book you want to read but can't

I've owned The Lost Hero for a while. And I've really, really been wanting to start the series, but I need to read other books first: Hamlet because I want to, Vengeful before my friend stabs me, The Five Poisoned Apples to reread for review, A Thousand Perfect Notes because I'm late for every party. But I still need to finish my three current reads. 

Do I have too many books?

Loki | evil character you like

Um, Loki? Yeah, Loki. [From Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology]

Also, I say Cynfael from Falling Snow [by Skye Hoffert], but I wouldn't really call him evil. Self-serving, yes. A trickster type like Loki, double yes.

___

Don't mind me while I add a few more Avengers to the list.

___

Black Widow | unreliable narrator

The Boy in Striped Pajamas has an unreliable, heart-breaking narrator. We can get even more literary and add The Dubliners by James Joyce. Nearly, all his narrators offer such minimal information, or, worse, they don't even have a real voice of their own? While we're in literary land, I could make a case for Pride and Prejudice. Just think on it for a bit.

Rocket Raccoon | book full of murder babies

Oh, this is my favorite place to be, home to Vicious and Red Rising. I'd love to observe to an encounter between Victor and Sevro over morning coffee.

Doctor Strange | magical settings

Cabeswater in The Raven Boys is mystical and weird. And the trees speak Latin? 

So yeah, I haven't finished the series yet because I'm always behind in everything. [Wait, did I already say that?] But thus far, I love it! Also, because it's Maggie Stiefvater's writing, Henritta, Virginia seems magical too.

Steal the tag if you like it!

the post that didn't happen | here's what is happening

Every time I say I'm back, I disappear again. It's the only reliable thing about me now. Apparently, "I'm back" are the magic words to make something disappear? So let's try something new.

I'm not back. I don't have time to commit to blogging now. So there probably won't be a post tomorrow or next week. And certainly no post for today. This is not a post, guys, because I'm definitely not back.

Well, I have a lot to tell you all, both bookish and non-bookish. Prepare yourself for too much text.

1) I've moved. I'm going to be honest with you guys because I'm not into masks and facades around here; I was living with some people, and it was a negative and stifling environment for me. It wasn't bad while I was attending college [the whole reason I was there], but after I graduated, it came to the point that I became anxious about every little thing I did when at home. That, of course, is partially my own fault because my anxiety did inflate some things out of proportion [as anxiety does].

2) I tried devising ways to live on my own which is what I really want to do. I've wanted a place of my own [even if with roommates] since basically graduating high school. Unfortunately, I believed the lie that I couldn't have that for a long time which only delayed me in realistically striving toward having my own place. I wasn't earning enough at my work place, and none of the jobs in the area I lived was going to pay more. Also, my friends aren't in a position at the moment to share an apartment either. 

My last option was to move back with my parents. I'd toyed with the idea but never seriously. I'd always dismissed it because it felt like a step back. Also, I hate being that stereotypical millennium moving back with their parents and living in the basement. I don't want to be that. I want to be better. But I was desperate to get out of the situation I was in. 

Moving in with my parents has other pros. They live near a larger city where I could get a higher paying job so that I could actually move out on my own. A jobs in my field are more available. Also, my parents are supportive of the idea of my being a freelance editor [one of my main career goals outside of being a published fiction author]. They're experienced entrepreneurs and are very encouraging. Also, where they live now has more outdoor activities available. That probably seems like a small thing, but I love hiking and trees. I feel like I've been dying in an ugly city with small trees caged on sidewalks.

3) So guess it, I moved back with my parents, but I also did it within a month of making that decision. Not the smartest of choices. I could've waited to find a job, but I didn't which is unusual. I never make big decisions quickly like this. I could take a year before I decided to make something like this a real goal. So I had a lot of doubts because of how quickly everything moved, but despite those doubts, God has given me a lot of peace [which doesn't make much sense, but I'm glad for it]. All my friends have been supportive. One of my friends was basically like, "Yeah, that'll be way better for you. Duh. Why didn't you think of this sooner?"

her newest and most frequent nickame for me

While I explained the situation to another friend, she asked me if moving in with my parents would be a viable option before I mentioned I was considering just that. That's really encouraged me a lot. I know what *other* people think I should do or should want, etc. But what's right for one person isn't always right for everyone. I've been trying to do better about doing and learning what's best for me, but sometimes, it feels like I'm defying everyone around me as they tell me that only they know what's best as they try to obligate me to do whatever they want. It's very frustrating. So it's reaffirming and helpful when my friends deny my doubts and the lies I've been told without my expecting that they will.

I'm confident that this is where I need to be, but I'm also in my parents' basement with no job other than a very small freelance editing job that I've been hired for. So I'm trying to keep my hopes up.

4) So this is the part of the show where I talk about God. If you don't want to hear that, well, just skip #4, so sorry. Except that I'm not. I don't talk too much about God around here for reasons I'll not discuss now. But He's a big part of my life, so I'm going to talk about Him. My biggest fear of moving was that I would get stuck again. I cannot stand being trapped especially since I've realized that I'm very susceptible to accepting that I have to just make do in a place that I'm trapped in. That's a dangerous and unhealthy attitude to take up. You can't grow when you're trapped. And it seems like I just ping pong from being trapped in one place to getting trapped in another.

Despite being trapped and strangled where I was, I had too many unanswerable questions. Would it actually be an improvement? Did I need to wait until another opportunity came? That's the other thing. I feel like I'm always waiting. I had been taught to wait, wait, wait; that waiting was the answer [and, yes, sometimes God puts us through periods of waiting]. The reality is that most of the time waiting is my fault. God is actually waiting on me. He's either waiting on me to get something through my thick skull, or He's waiting on me to take the initiative and do something to change the situation. To do something that He can do more with. To just trust Him. So yeah, this is some kind of step of faith. 

God has been telling me that while I'm here to not focus on the now. And I don't mean like the good things of now. I mean, I don't need to get bogged down in what my situation is like now. I shouldn't wait around. I need to be in the mindset that I'm still in motion. I'm not staying here, so don't get settled. I will not get stuck because this is only a checkpoint. I need to have a transient mindset. And really, in the huge picture of it all, yeah, I should adopt a transient spiritual mindset also. I need to think forward and focus on the future.

So I'm trying. I'm really trying.

5) Now, onto less heavy topics, I have finally finished the first draft of a novel I started since last summer. It's my first stand-alone, and it's totally different from any other project I've taken on so far. It needs so much work for the editing phase, so I'm glad that I've finally finished the first draft so I can start editing in a month or two. I'll try to get a post up soon about it.

6) I'm not back. This is not a post.

7) On to the things I've been watching! About 98% of what I watch is Criminal Minds. Also, I took my first step into anime. My sister introduced me to Fairy Tail, so I've been watching that with her. One of my friends loves Bones and got me the first three seasons before I left. So I just started that yesterday.  

For books, I started Game of Thrones. The world and plot are done well, but I don't really like many characters? I like Dany and the Stark kids [with the exception of Sansa, she doesn't exist to me]. I mostly read it for the plot. I'm still reading Golden Son. It truly is one of my favorites which is hard to believe since I take my sweet time reading it. But I don't want it to end? What if someone I like dies? Nevertheless, the writing is genius. The political commentary is amazing. The characters are phenomenal. The plot. Everything. I can't even fangirl properly. 

Recently, I binge read this digital comic strip called Lore Olympus until I caught up to the current episodes [and right now the creator's on hiatus! sos, em, I mean, ssp: someone send pizza]. If you've not heard of it, it's a Hades and Persephone retelling interwoven with other Greek lore. The plot's a little different than what I usually read, but I love it so far [and am upset about certain things!]. Also, the art is great. Read it for the art, man [and you'll fall in love with the rest, hehe]!

8) For my upcoming writing plans, I intend to dive back into editing Oddball [the First]. It'll feel weird because it's been so long since I've been in Oddball's world, but I'm also really looking forward to it. My time at university squelched my writing soul. Oddball has been hiding in the closet, sulking and pretending like he doesn't care how much I've neglected him. But, no longer!

[*ahem* Oddball is not amused]

10) In less significant news, I watched the 1991 Addams Family film the other day. And now I want to write something in a similar world or with similar characters. Something Addams-Family-and-Neil-Gaiman-ish [I've been listening to his interviews and such on youtube lately]. It probably won't happen any time soon, but I'm gathering ideas. 

What's new with you guys? Anything exciting happen to you recently? Any cool new books, shows, or music? 

ps--not back

yet another mood

moving, shifting, turning / what's going on / what's happening / too much change at once / little tedious tasks / make a list / what to tackle first / trying to be productive / unreasonably miffed 

a sore spot / a headache / pain in your walk / where are you going / what are you doing / why aren't you normal / why aren't you responsible / drinking chocolate milk / like a child / what is wrong / what's so hard / why can't you do more

step away / take a shower / do your hair / toss the trashy thoughts aside / what a week / a long, long week / you have been doing things / you have been working / the world upside / and you keep going / what do you mean you're not productive / what do you mean you're not responsible / look at what you've done / this week / and last 

life is in uproar / why are you hard on yourself / do you really want to be normal

breathe  / read a book / how long has it been / books lay in neglect / that's the real crime / open a book / down the rabbit hole of another world / be someone else / be somewhere else / just today