I know I've read similar sentences in books before. And it never struck me as weird. But the other day, I wrote:
"Yes." She dropped her eyes to the ground.
No, it just has to go. Maybe if it was a horror book or something (it could work as some morbid pun), I'd keep it. But here. I can't help take it literally. It just sounds so absurd. Besides, Sandy needs her eyes later on. :P
And this:
The door echoed shut.
What?! Really? That doesn't even make sense. The door can't be shut by its own echo, since the act of it shutting results in an echo. Agh! I'm going crazy.
I've been realizing that I tend to write myself into situations without knowing how to write myself out.
Think this. The middle of the night, in a forest. Sandy's two friends, a dying man, and two horses have been captured. Seven highly trained soldiers have surrounded them in ambush for Sandy. Stefon (He's on Sandy's side) has caught up to them. He has a few arrows, a dagger, and a wounded side. Sandy is weaponless. How do they rescue the two teenagers, the dying man, and two horses?
I thought about this forever. Finally, hey, why not set fire to the forest as a distraction? That could actually work. You know, if I hadn't let the skies pour misery on my characters for the past couple of book days. Stupid rain.
So how does Sandy and Stefon rescue them without being captured?
Easy.
They don't.
Yeah, I was rather put out. I can still make it all work out at the end. But I was kind of hoping for another epic win before the last showdown. I guess it's better they hit rock bottom, before the end though.
"What are our chances?" she argued.
"None." Resolution filled his voice.
Her heart sank deeper. "Then what do you say we do?"
"We go down fighting."
Haha! Those first two are my favourite! I guess, if she was a zombie, she could toss her eyeballs around? But it is kind of gross... hehe. XD
ReplyDeleteIf she was a zombie, it'd work out nicely. Juggling eyeballs. It is a little unnerving though. . .
DeleteI've seen the eye line in books before. But, like you said, I don't know what it is about that line - but it did sound like she dropped her eyes literally to the ground. Books-
ReplyDeleteI did one once were I was writing about Air Pirates flying and instead put, "Don't all Air Pirates know how to fry?"
Okay, I totally feel your pain with your stuck scene. And I'd offer advice, but I did that to myself, like....a couple days ago. The EXACT same thing, minus the rain. It was snow. And they didn't even think of a fire. But I got some kidnapped by this massive army, and then four others had to save them and I went, "oops." They kind of did the rash thing in the end and just rushed in with swords blazing - and somehow lived. I don't know if it was convincing though and when I edit might have to fix it - a lot. But I feel for you. Have some pie.
Pie! Okay, I feel better now. :)
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