Thoughts on Allegiant by Veronica Roth

          I'm sorry but I really have to admire the subtle hints and build up to the truth throughout the other books.

"What do you think is out there?" I nod to the doorway. "I mean, beyond the fence."
She shrugs. "A bunch of farms, I guess."
"Yeah, but I mean. . . past the farms. What are we guarding the city from?"
She wiggles her fingers at me "Monsters!" - Divergent by Veronica Roth

How right you are, Christina. Unfortunately though your efforts are only helping the monsters.


The lock is on the outside. I bite my lip. Why would they lock the gate from the outside and not the inside? It almost seems like they don't want to keep something out; they want to keep us in.
I push the thought out of my head. That makes no sense." - Divergent

Exactly, no sense, Tris. That's why you should have thought of it. The truth, what is it? It would have chased my sleep away for weeks. Why didn't you think about?


". . .I  wanted to make sure I could get out."
I shiver. The way he talks about getting out- it's like he thinks we're trapped. I never thought about it that way before, and now that seems foolish."- Insurgent by Veronica Roth         


          I finished it finally.  :'(  I am so very sad. About what happened in the book, yes. But just the fact that- it's OVER. I love this series. I wonder what Roth will write next. . . After that amazing-ness, I just can't imagine. Whatever she writes though, I can say that I will definitely read it.

           This isn't a review (I've come to the conclusion that the whole concept of "reviewing" escapes me). So there are spoilers galore. Just forewarning.


          I do beg you though not to judge the book trilogy by the Divergent movie if you saw it. I'm sorry, I really, really wanted to like the movie. But. . . they ruined some of the plot, the climax was a shambles, they ruined Four, they almost ruined Tris, and they ruined the Ferris wheel scene. That was my favorite scene(maybe I have this thing for heights), and it. was. terrible. *sniffs*

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          Having two POVs instead of just Tris', was expected at first. Naturally I expected it to be in only Tris' POV like the previous books. I understand why it wasn't (oh, yes, I definitely see why). It was just took some getting used to. I'd forget I wasn't reading Tris' thoughts, until Tobias would go and think something only he would think, like something about his parents, being a GD (ugh, really what is with people and not facing the real problems? Instead they have to make up something to fix, as if the world doesn't have enough real problems?), or he would see Tris (that's a big tell there). But I didn't realize the real reason behind the double POVs until later. *mourns*

           Speaking of being in Tobias' head. It was rather interesting seeing the world from his perspective. He's always described as this tall, muscular, intimidating-looking guy (Lynn- where's your scary boyfriend, Tris- he's not scary). He's quiet so usually you're not sure what he's thinking. You know he's gentle because of the way he acts to Tris, but sometimes you wonder if that's the effect Tris has on him. There's always this volatile side of him that comes out when you least expect it. Like when he lunged at Jeanine (she was kind of asking for it though). Or when he yelled at Tris for freezing up when they fled Amity headquarters. Or when he attacked his father. Except you can tell that that wasn't just out of the blue which really gets you wondering about what's going in his head and just how long and how deep he thinks about things.

           The answer is very. Very long and very deep. But he still surprised me. I know he values human life, I know he can be kind and humble, but just how much? He's a very gentle narrator. The way he looks at the world. The way he thinks and analyzes things. He is always relating the things he sees now to objects, people, or events that happened before. He connects his present to his past. He notices people too. The things they say, their mannerisms. And he's always mulling over some hard decision that he thinks over forever before he makes a choice. From an outward perspective, he always seems impulsive, because he never talks about what he's thinking about, he just suddenly does something and leaves people wondering, "where did that come from?" But he actually puts a lot of forethought into every big decision his makes. He's too afraid of messing up, of becoming his father.

           Having the ability and knowledge to hurt others doesn't make him more brutal or arrogant (like Eric), it makes him more aware of other people's pain. It humbles him. It makes him use that knowledge and ability more responsibly. And it makes him more careful of himself and his temper, because he is so, so afraid of turning into his father. Which I can understand. When you detest a quality or person like that, the only thing that you hate more is seeing that in yourself. And Amar is right, he can be obssessive and reclusive.

"I think you're still the only person sharp enough to sharpen someone like me." - Tris  (I loved that part)

          Something about the plot though. . . They go to the Bureau, they learn the truth, they learn that basically their life in the faction system, everything they were fighting for was a waste of their time. And then- then, they stay with these people? They 'befriend' these people? They consider making this their home? They are not immediately repulsed by

1) the Bureau lying to them

2) the Bureau's twisted view of humans and carelessness for human life, which by of way, was very similar to that of Jeanine's: humans are without feelings ought to be analyzed and controlled

3) the Bureau letting the factions kill each other off just for the sake of an experiment (aka: a result of point 2).

           Yes, they did feel these things later. Maybe it was the shock. Everything had to settle in first. But just lying to me would've set me off on the spot. Lying to me about my whole life, and now I'm not even sure if they're telling me the truth about it now? I couldn't stand to be in the same room with those people, much less live under their supervision- again. I would be running to the fringe. If they didn't shoot me first. . .

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           Another thing about the plot that I still can't get over. Tris' plan. To erase the Bureau people's memories. I'm with Tobias on this one. It didn't sound right. After all I would be more concerned with my friends who are still in the city. Inside Chicago nobody knows the truth. The Allegiant, the factionless, none of it matters, but everyone they know is ready to give their lives to the lost causes inside the experiment. I thought they would shut down the Bureau's camera system and go back to tell Chicago the truth. The people could leave, and they could get word to the rest of the city experiments. I know that's not as simple as it sounds. There would've been more war. But still. . . Tris' plan was bloodless (mostly), but by erasing the Bureau's memory, they still took people's lives from them. Was there much of a difference? I don't know.

         I do love what Tris saw in the fringe. How she interpreted it compared to what they wanted her to see. How it made her more sure of what she thought, instead of being convinced by the Bureau.

           Okay, now the ending. I knew Tris was going to switch with her brother, because. . . I mean with everything that she's done up until then, with everything that she's learned- she wasn't going to let Caleb die because of guilt. Still I was kind of thinking maybe, maybe there might be some kind of way out for her, until she told herself, "I just know I'll survive this" Then I knew her fate was sealed.

           It was so sad. But brave. I really love the way Roth did it. It could've been a heartwrenching event, but it was beautiful and solemn. It wasn't cliched; she didn't suddenly go into the light. Tris was with her mother again, and I guess that's why I wasn't sad for her (honestly, when someone dies, are we ever really sad for that person? aren't we more sad for the people who that person left behind?). Because she was happy. She was home. She had found herself and she was at peace with herself. And this:

"What about the others?. . . Tobias, Caleb, my friends?"
"They'll care for each other," she says. "That's what people do."

           I don't know why, but I love that part. It's sad and beautiful and so true all at once. I love how she mentioned Caleb by name, right after Tobias.

           Again with the ending, I wish it didn't have to happen that way. But it did (maybe it's my writer brain). Honestly, I never pictured Tris and Tobias going "off into the sunset", having a family, and living a peaceful happily-ever-after. I didn't exactly picture this. I didn't picture them being apart at all. But somehow this feels right, like it was supposed to happen, like it was the only thing that could happen. You know, there's very few times an author can pull off a character death that in the end feels like it was supposed to happen.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here? -Tris


           For a while, I was in shock like Tobias. I knew she was dead. I just knew it. But like Tobias I kept expecting her to come out of it like she was sleeping. I kept trying to tell myself that this wasn't some fairytale where the spell is broken and she just comes back to life. It's a dystopian. Hard things happen, people get killed, sometimes even the A-Team. But still, I had it in my mind that Roth would find some hole to get her through, that Tris would narrowly escape just like she always does.

          But Roth's heroes are human. They have faults. And they are mortal. (It makes the characters more real. And it's was brave of  the author. I respect it. A lot.)

           It really hit me when I saw the chapter that wasn't titled with 'Tris' or 'Tobias.' Because Tobias was the only one left. And that thought made me so sad for him, I couldn't even cry. It still makes me feel heavy.

           I love this book. It's sad, yes. I can't get how they could stand in the same room with the Bureau people. I know I couldn't. But I loved the book. It was realistic in so many ways. The ending with Tris' death. The ending with Tobias moving on. That was realistic too. I'm so glad he finally became a leader. He really was made for that. He understands the gravity of things, including responsibility. And people gravitated toward him. There was no way he could be anything else except a leader. I still can't help be sad for him though.

             What I really like was the realistic way love was protraryed. It's not something you fall into. It's a choice. A choice you make everyday. How many books can you find that will set the world straight on what real love is?

Our mother said there is evil in everyone, and the first step to loving someone else is to recognize that evil in ourselves, so we can forgive them.

I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day, that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

           This kind of makes me think of Tobias in the epilogue. Sort of.

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. . .in the distance I hear a train rushing over the rails, but we are moving away from this place and all that it has meant to us, and that is all right.

            The trilogy is over. I want to go cry now. Have a wonderful week. *sobs*


I suppose a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last. - Tobias