Hi everyone. I'm Oddball. If you don't know who I am, then. . . you probably haven't been around here very long.
I'm the main character of Ashley's book trilogy, though she always insists that it's my book. I argue; she's writing it, not me.
So Ashley was supposed to do this tag that Emily @ Emily Etc. nominated her for (by of way, Emily, she "thanks you muchly," yeah, I know, muchly isn't a word). All she had to do was list seven facts about herself. But you see, I came along (and saved you all). Here's what happened:
me: "Really?! Those are the worst seven facts about you."
Ashley: "Shush! Nobody asked you."
me: *points* "I don't know what that means, but it's not even about you."
Ashley: "But it IS a fact."
me: "Doesn't it have to meet all the rule's criteria?"
Ashley: "I've been working on this for a month, okay? Think you could do better?"
me: *laughs* "I could come up with some pretty good facts about you."
Ashley: "Oh really? Then here's the deal. You write these seven facts about me. And later I'll do seven about you."
Ashley's been watching too much Once Upon a Time. Rumpelstiltskin and his deal making is going to her head. Yet, it's not good form that I've been watching it with her because, obviously, I took the deal. She's always talking about me on her blog, so what do I have to loose really? And how often do I get to spill my author's guts on her blog? I'm sure all the favor lies on my side of the deal.
(And don't tell her I made a Hook reference. She'd never let me live it down.)
1. Ashley doesn't know her right from her left. Or as she would say, "It's not on immediate recall." Translation: she takes five minutes to think about it. I think Rocky rubbed off on her; they're both directionally challenged.
2. She hates it when people try to test her simply for the purpose of seeing how she'll react. So she doesn't. React, that is.
I think a lot of people are convinced she's a stick in the mud.
3. She's very lost around people. The wandering-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-Border kind of lost. Sometimes when she talks, her words don't come out in the right order. You see, she can make words into little black squiggles just fine, but can she make words into sounds?
Uh, no. Not so much.
4. Oh, and don't let her fool you with the stick in the mud act. She's weird. Trust me.
Not sure if that's any better though. . .
5. I think she's afraid people won't like her. Especially right off (because for Ashley to like someone, they usually have to "grow" on her). So if/when someone wants to befriend her from the start she suspects they're only pretending because they might have ulterior motives.
What those would be, I have no idea. It's not like she has a lynch mob chasing after her.
6. Sometimes she takes weekends off to visit her friends. But she leaves me here to deal with Rocky, Peril, and the chaos in their wake. I find that inconsiderate. Maybe I want to take a weekend away. Did anybody think about that?
7. Lastly, Ashley never leaves enough chocolate chip cookies out for her characters. Be warned, future characters. You may experience chocolate chip cookie deprivation. (That is a thing. I promise. I've suffered it most of my life.)
So I hope you all found this, uh, insightful? What was the purpose of this post again? I'm not sure I understand the concept of tagging. Whatever. I probably won't be around much again, as I'm not a writer (that's Ashley's thing). I prefer drawing.
Oh, and Ashley says that Thursday she has something "of grand and great greatness" planned for you.
"Great greatness"? Does she always talk to you guys like that? Aw, well. She was speaking when she said it, instead of writing. That could be the problem.